Much Ado About Nothing

While riding the MRT today, a guy walked in the train holding a portable CD player. I noticed because (1) one rarely sees people bringing those things nowadays, with the proliferation of portable MP3 players like the iPod; (2) the guy was noisy.

Anyway, I went back to minding my own business when I hear the guy, in an agitated tone, say, in voice loud enough to be heard on both ends of the train:

"No!! Not again!"

Having caught my attention (as well as that of everyone on the damn train), he proceeds to (violently) shake the poor CD player and (violently) push its buttons. (From the scene it looked like the CD player was pushing his buttons, if you catch my drift.)

The CD player, apparently, was unresponsive, and could not be cajoled into providing the angry man with the music he so desperately wanted (and, it appears, needed-after all, "music hath charms to soothe the savage breast").

So the guy opens the player, removes the CD, and puts it back in. He then lets forth a stream of obscenities that lets everyone know that his CD player isn't working. I thought the guy was going to pop a vessel over the damn thing.

My thoughts during this outburst?

"Get a life, a man. Better yet, get an iPod."

TEN: The 51st State

What if the Philippines had become the 51st state of the United States of America? Here are some possibilities:

1. The University of the Philippines would be named "Philippine State University," or "PSU." Its basketball team wouldn't do very well in the US NCAA, but would be respected for being a scrappy bunch. Its alumni, on the other hand, would make waves in all intellectual fields. PSU grads become trailblazers in the fields of law, medicine, journalism, fine arts, and information technology. Its students would be the US' most feared debaters, with Fil-Ams representing the US in international tournaments
2. The Cordilleras would be accessible via well-paved, picturesque roads that make driving to the Banaue Rice Terraces, Sagada, and Mt. Data as easy as driving up to Baguio. Battles between conservationists and pro-development groups are waged over the development of eco-tourism sites in the Cordilleras, Palawan, Bohol, and other parts of the Philippine State. Unchecked logging leads to the passage of legislation to protect the archipelago's forest cover and the designation of certain areas as environmental reserves.
3. The Philippines becomes the top destination for retirees and senior citizens. The coastline of La Union up to Vigan is developed for this purpose. Many Fil-Ams are tapped to work in retirement homes, many of which are established around the country. Despite the proliferation of these, many Filipino families continue to take care of their elderly.
4. The steady supply of competent Fil-Am professionals like doctors and nurses to the US mainland ensures that US hospitals do not want for medical professionals. Because of the Philippine State's huge population, and because of the quality workforce it produces, the US State Department limits the issuing of working VISAs to foreign nationals to stop a glut in the US labor market.
5. Corporations owned by rich Fil-Am families like the Cojuangcos and the Ayalas are eaten up by American conglomerates. The landed elite slowly lose their hold over their haciendas as Corporate America buys them off and institutes modern farming methods that destroy the old Haciendero models. Filipino farmers have never been more productive. The US becomes the biggest exporter of rice in the world.
6. Manila gets its own NBA team, the Manila Matadors (I know, lame name). The Matadors sell out every game and establish NBA records for attendance and gate receipts. The fanaticism of Manila fans and the chance to play in one of the US' most beautiful states attracts the best NBA players, giving the Matadors a slew of NBA championships.
7. Numerous Fil-Ams make their mark in the US entertainment industry, with Oscar, Grammy and Tony Awards given to Americans of Philippine descent. When American Idol goes to Manila, judges are wowed by Fil-Am talent, and many go on to Hollywood to try their luck. Simon Cowell predicts that at least half of the finalists will be Fil-Ams, and that the next American Idol will definitely be from the Philippine State. Fil-Ams win the first American Idol. And the second. And the third. And the fourth...
8. The US expands its bases in Clark and Subic, and establishes new ones in Visayas and Mindanao. The presence of the US in the Pacific leads to various diplomatic run-ins with the Chinese and North Koreans, who resent American military presence in the Pacific. American bases in the Philippine Islands are frequently the victims of terrorist attacks, leading to increased security around the cities of Olongapo and Angeles.
9. The Roman Catholic Church loses many of its faithful to competing religions, with the Mormons gaining many converts among Fil-Ams. Concerned with the growing population of the Philippine Islands, the US mounts an aggressive birth-control campaign, distributing free birth-control pills and condoms to families across the archipelago. The Catholic Church urges its members to reject these campaigns, to no avail. It is successful, however, in blocking the passage of state laws that would allow abortion, same-sex marriage, and the death penalty.
10. A Filipina becomes the first Vice-Presidential candidate in US Election history, running and winning under the Democratic Party. A Filipina is also named the first woman to the US Supreme Court.

Eighty-One

Kobe Bryant of the Los Angeles Lakers scored 81 points against the Toronto Raptors the other day. That feat puts him only behind Wilt Chamberlain for most points in a single NBA game. In 1962, Chamberlain, then a member of the Philadelphia Warriors (now the Golden State Warriors, not the Philadelphia 76ers), scored a hundred points against the New York Knicks and established one of sports' most enduring, seemingly unbreakable records.

Kobe Bryant's unbelievable performance against the Raptors changes all that. Used to be that the notion of anyone breaking Wilt's record was unthinkable. Now, however, Kobe has everyone who has ever played or watched a basketball game think again.

The Game (as we shall now call it) begs the following questions:

Was Kobe's feat really that big a deal?

Yes. Says Vince Carter: "Eighty-one is 81, I don't care if you're playing summer league, pickup, Playstation - it's a lot." I play a lot of NBA Live. 81 is hard to get, even on an imaginary court. So Kobe's 81 point-game is a big deal, and is worth all the hype.

Was Toronto's defense really that bad?

Yep. Watch the highlights. The Raptors' opponents average 102.7 points a game on 48.9% shooting. Only the Seattle Supersonics play worse D. According to the Detroit Pistons' Chauncey Billups, the Raptors didn't even double-team Kobe, despite Raptors' coach Sam Mitchell's claim that Toronto "threw everything" at Kobe. Well, Bryant scored 81. Guess you know who gave the more objective assessment.

Is Kobe really that good?

Kobe leads the NBA in scoring, and has carried an untalented LA Lakers team on his shoulders all season long. The result is a 22-19 record. If the playoffs were held today, the Lakers would qualify. So yes, he really is that good.

Is this Kobe guy better than Michael Jordan?

Maybe Kobe is a better scorer, but that's debatable. Actually, you can look at all the different aspects of their game (ball-handling, passing, clutch shooting) and have a debate on your hands. Defense, however, is one department that Jordan beats Bryant hands-down. Kobe plays great off-the-ball defense, gets in the passing lanes, and is good for 1.33 steals a game. Jordan did this, plus, he shut people down. People forget that Jordan is the only player to win both MVP and Defensive Player of the Year in the same season (1988).

There are also the intangibles. Jordan was in his sixth year in the NBA when the Bulls won their first championship, and he already exhibited great leadership and the ability to make his teammates better. Kobe has yet to prove he can lead a team (glaring at teammates when they make bonehead decisions doesn't count) or make his supporting cast better (Lamar Odom ain't no Scottie Pippen, but that guy has skills), so until then, the answer is NO.

How does Kobe's performance compare to Wilt's? Or to the other great scoring performances?

There are those who say Kobe's performance was better than Wilt's because the latter was a freak-a giant at a time when most NBA players reached his shoulders. There are those that say that the fact that Kobe scored on jumpers and a host of other acrobatic moves makes his feat more impressive than Wilt's. I don't buy that. A hundred is still a hundred. Besides, Wilt didn't have the three-point shot, or free throws to help.

As for the other 70+ scorers-Elgin Baylor (LA Lakers), David Robinson (San Antonio Spurs), and David Thompson (Denver Nuggets)-all these were done during the regular season. Both Davids scored 70+ in the last games of the season, to jack up their scoring averages to win the scoring title, so these games had little meaning.

Jordan's highest-scoring regular-season game was 69-against the Cleveland Cavaliers. But this was hardly his most impressive scoring game. Jordan holds the record for most points in a playoff game. He scored 63 points against a Boston Celtics team that featured Robert Parish, Kevin McHale, Larry Bird, Danny Ainge, and Dennis Johnson-all future Hall of Famers. What's even more amazing is that Jordan did this in the Boston Garden, against a team which had lost only one game at home in the regular season (an NBA record), a team that would go on to become NBA Champions.

Kobe has yet to reach the playoffs without Shaq. He may break the record for most points in a playoff game, but for him to really make an impression, he'd have to do that against a great NBA defensive team like the San Antonio Spurs.

Can Kobe score over a hundred points in a single game? Will he?

Yes, he can. One of the consequences of expansion is the watering down of talent in the NBA. There are so many mediocre teams with players that couldn't defend their own shadows if they wanted to (i.e., the Atlanta Hawks, the New York Knicks). There also teams that are an injury or two away from mediocrity; take away the stars on some teams (i.e., the Houston Rockets, the Philadelphia 76ers), and what you get are terrible teams that could be whipped by a good NCAA team. So it's just a matter of time.

The US Embassy On Driving In The Philippines

I am often amused by the howls of protest coming from politicians whenever negative travel advisories are issued by foreign governments.

First, governments have a right to do what they think is necessary to protect its citizens, and that includes telling them when their safety is at risk when they visit a certain country.

Second, these are merely "advisories," which their citizens may or may not follow; they're not banning their citizens from traveling to our country outright.

Third, most of the time, these advisories aren't entirely untrue. If you've lived in the Philippines your whole life, then you know that if some terrorist wanted to bomb every single mall in Manila, he or she could do that.

But this isn't about anything remotely as serious as that.

Last weekend I started the New Year on the right foot-that is, with a big laugh-when I read about the US Embassy's newest advisory about the Philippines.

From the Manila Standard:


US issues 'driving advisory' on RP
By Joyce Pangco Pañares

VISITING American diplomats have been warned - not about terrorist attacks or other security threats but about the dangers posed by Manila drivers.

"For most Americans, the most frustrating aspect of traffic is the uniquely Filipino style of driving, which is often erratic and unpredictable," says a recent post report sent by the US embassy in Manila to Washington. "Those with orderly driving habits may find it difficult to adjust to the chaos of Manila's streets... In Manila, caution is the golden rule."

Manila traffic, the embassy says, can only be appreciated by experiencing firsthand the unique environment combined with Filipino's driving skills.

"Lane markings and crosswalks are mere suggestions, and stop signs might as well be in Braille. (Emphasis mine. Ha ha ha ha!) Of the few working stoplights, they are too long when obeyed and too dangerous when not. Buses stop in the middle of the streets, allowing passengers to exit into oncoming traffic," the report continues.

The embassy also described Filipino drivers' predilection for changing lanes without warning as a game of "chicken" - where the first to give way to an overtaking vehicle or a pedestrian trying to cross the street loses.

"Drivers also turn into oncoming traffic when the proper lane is too congested, while pedestrians and cars play a dangerous game of 'chicken' to see who will get to the intersection first."

The report doesn't vilify Filipino drivers, however, giving them credit for being "remarkably polite and less prone to road rage than their American counterparts."

Hilarious.

About the only thing I dispute here is the part where the report says that Filipino drivers are "remarkably polite and less prone to road rage than their American counterparts," a statement that is either (A) the result of glaring typographical errors (they neglected to put "im" before polite, and typed "less" when it should be "more") or (B) a lame at attempt at trying to be diplomatic.

I wonder if any politician will have the audacity to challenge this advisory.